


Better Than Fine

by sparkly_butthole



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Argument turned saucy, Ficlet, Fluff, Gift Fic, Kaidan's migraines, M/M, The boys are too mature to really argue, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 14:00:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11784630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkly_butthole/pseuds/sparkly_butthole
Summary: “Kaidan, get your barrier up!”“It is up, Shep… oh.”The blue glow surrounds Kaidan with a pop-zing and the faint smell of eezo. Shepard rolls his eyes and sticks his head out from behind cover, and a slug flies by his head, barely missing.This is a gift for the wonderful estalfaed! Hope you enjoy it, dear!





	Better Than Fine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Estalfaed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estalfaed/gifts).



> Happy birthday!

“Kaidan, get your barrier up!”

“It _ is _ up, Shep… oh.”

The blue glow surrounds Kaidan with a  _ pop-zing _ and the faint smell of eezo. Shepard rolls his eyes and sticks his head out from behind cover, and a slug flies by his head, barely missing.

_ Dammit, Kaidan. _

It’s the third time in the last ten minutes he’s dropped that damn barrier. Shepard glances back, noticing the lines of pain around Kaidan’s eyes, and makes an executive decision to fall back.

“Cortez, how quickly can you make it back?”

“About ten, Commander. Do you need something?”

“Yeah, bring me Vega. You’re taking Alenko back to the ship.”

“Is everything okay, sir?”

“Everything’s fine, Cortez. Just need a pickup.”

“Copy that.”

Kaidan is fifteen feet away, glaring such sharp daggers at him that he swears he can feel them in his back. He winces but keeps his resolve. This mission has to get done if they want to be able to fight the Reapers in this sector, and Kaidan has to be safe. Those two things are equally important as far as he’s concerned.

He moves from cover and throws a singularity, snagging two troops mid-air and shooting them back to the ground. In the brief quiet of the courtyard, he gives the order to fall back, 

The silence is deafening as they wait by the landing pad. There’s an argument brewing, and it’s shaping up to be a big one, but Shepard can’t bring himself to care. His boyfriend is as white as an old-fashioned piece of paper; the lines around his eyes are deep and he looks about ready to throw up. They both know he made the right decision. The only question is: how will it affect their relationship?

As he finishes the mission, one fact repeats itself in his head: at least Kaidan is safe. No matter what happens between them, at least there’s that.

 

Shepard gives Kaidan the better part of a day to sleep off the migraine and heal before he approaches him. He’s expecting a fight, which he gets to some extent, but the rest of it? 

Well, the rest of it turns out to be a pleasant surprise. Best surprise he’s had in a long time.

Best surprise he’s had since Apollo’s, in fact.

The Starboard Observation is quiet, much like Kaidan usually prefers it. The man himself is sitting in the corner chair reading a book. A real, actual book, one left on the ship by Kasumi as a gift to whomever wished to read it. Or possibly steal it.

He squints to read the cover.  _ War and Peace _ . Not his kind of thing, despite its title. It’s huge; he hadn’t realized that it was possible to write a book that damn long, let alone read one. Maybe datapads made things seem shorter than they actually were.

“Enjoying the book?” he asks by way of greeting.

“Uh, yeah. It’s good. Hey, Shepard.”

“Hey.”

“So I’m guessing yesterday’s the reason you’re here?”

“Yep.”

Silence falls over the room, both men waiting for the other to speak. Finally, Shepard decides it’s his job to start this conversation, even though it’s difficult to get authoritative with the Major, who technically is at least the same level of rank as he is. And another Spectre. And he’s more than capable in his own right. 

Plus, there’s the other thing.

“Look, I hated pulling you out of there. But you know you were compromised.”

“Shepard-”

“No, Kaidan, let me finish. I know you can fight with a migraine. I  _ know _ you can. But if you can avoid it, I’d rather you did. It’s more of a risk, even if that risk is infinitesimal. Yesterday you were forgetting to keep your barrier up, and I’ve never seen that before. Even when I knew you were neck deep in agony, you’ve never forgotten that. That’s ultimately why I pulled you. I hope you can understand that.”

Kaidan appears sullen but not combative, which is a good sign. 

“Yeah, I do understand it. I just wish you’d have talked to me and trusted me instead of straight pulling me. It’s possible I’d have asked for an extraction myself; I’d just like a heads-up, some actual communication, next time. Fair enough?”

Shepard smiles. “Fair enough. I’m sorry I didn’t even consider that. I want you to know I trust you, okay?”

“I know you do, Shepard,” Kaidan responds softly. 

“Look, Kaidan… I know our relationship is young, but…”

“Hey, stop. Stop, Shepard.”

“No, no, I need to say this, okay?” He’s usually not one for oversharing, but clearly, today there are things that need saying. 

Shepard moves in closer to his boyfriend, kneeling beside the chair and grasping Kaidan’s hand in both of his. “I can’t lose you, Kaidan. It scares me so much. I’m not gonna be a hardass on you out in the field. No more than with another member of my crew anyway. I know you can handle yourself. But after all this time… if I lost you?” He shudders at the thought. “If I lost you, I’m not sure what I’d do. I’m not sure I could go on. You know?”

Kaidan stares, speechless. It takes him a moment to find his own voice. 

“Yeah, Shepard. I know the feeling.”

“I guess… I just… goddammit, Kaidan. I love you, alright? I love you. That’s really all there is to it.”

He watches Kaidan’s adam’s apple bob, hears the click as he swallows his nervousness. Hopefully that wasn’t the worst possible thing he could’ve said.

“Yeah, Shepard.” This time the words are like a prayer. “I love you, too.”

It’s the perfect time for it, so right, so  _ them _ , and they lean in, and it’s just as wonderful as Shepard had ever hoped it could be- all of it. The ‘I love you,’ the kiss, giving his heart to this wonderful man. He’d wanted to feel the Major’s lips the moment they met three years ago on the first Normandy. Back when Kaidan was a fresh-faced Lieutenant that didn’t carry the scars he carries now.

No matter. He’s as beautiful today as he was then.

Shepard leans in and touches his lips to Kaidan’s, soft and chaste at first, then building to something more passionate and desperate. They’ve never kissed before, but it feels like they already know each other’s bodies. Their mouths open at the same time, only slightly, only enough to taste each other’s tongues, before Shepard pushes in and really tastes him. The essence of Kaidan is everything he’d ever wanted, sweet and spicy and hot. A sound escapes him without his consent, a little noise of pure need. It’s been too damn long.

And this is Kaidan.

They pull back at once, breathless and aroused, pupils blown and pulses racing. Shepard leans in further to whisper in Kaidan’s ear.

“My cabin. 2200. Be prompt, or I might have to punish you.”

Kaidan gulps before he can speak. “Yes, sir,” he murmurs back.

“Good.” 

Shepard kisses him one last time, a peck, a promise, before walking out with his head held high.

He sighs in relief once the pneumatics hiss closed. Seems everything worked out just fine.

Better than fine, in fact.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to ellebeedarling who beta'ed this and made it so much better!


End file.
